|
|
Post by Jane on Jul 13, 2005 3:05:51 GMT -5
A place to put anything you want. Things such as jokes, pictures, sayings, etc..., that you find funny. Please remember to keep it clean. Okay, to start off (seeing as I'm on a Batman kick), here's a plush doll I just found on eaby:  |
|
|
|
Post by Jane on Aug 9, 2005 3:02:00 GMT -5
Excerpts from a dogs daily diary..............
8:00am- OH BOY!! dog food my favorite OH BOY!!
9:30am- OH BOY!! car ride my favorite OH BOY!!
9:40am- OH BOY!! a walk my favorite OH BOY!!
10:30am- OH BOY!! getting rubbed and petted my favorite OH BOY!!
11:30am- OH BOY!! dog food my favorite OH BOY!!
12:30pm- OH BOY!! the kids my favorite OH BOY!!!
1:00pm- OH BOY!! the yard my favorite OH BOY!!
4:00pm- OH BOY!! the park my favorite OH BOY!!
5:00pm- OH BOY!! dog food my favorite OH BOY!!
5:30pm- OH BOY!! pretty mumms my favorite OH BOY!!
6:00pm- OH BOY!! playing ball my favorite OH BOY!!
6:30pm- OH BOY!! watching tv with my master my favorite OH BOY!!
8:30pm- OH BOY!! sleeping in my masters bed my favorite OH BOY!!
Ecerpts from a cats daily diary..........................
Day 183 of my captivity. My masters continue to taunt be with bizzare
dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat while I am forced to eat
dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and
the mild satisfaction of ruining the occasional peice of furniture. Tomorrow
i may eat another house plant. Today my attempts of killing my captors by
weaving in and out of their legs while they were walking almost succeeded;
must try this at the top of the stairs. In attempt to disgust and repulse
these vile opressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on there favorite
chair; must try this on their bed. Decapitated a mouse and brought then the
headless body to sow to them what i am capible of, and to strike fear into
there hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a great little cat
I was. Hmmm. not working according to the plan. There was some kind of
gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary confinement for the
duration of the event. However, I could hear the talking and I could smell
the food. More importantly i heard that the reason for my confinemeant was
due to my power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how I can use
this to my advantage. I am convinced that the other captives are flunkies
and sniches. The dog is routinely realeased and seems more happy to return.
He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be the
informant, he talks to them regularly. I am certian that he reports my every
move. Due to his high placement in the high metal room, his safety is
assured. But I can wait............................its only a matter of
time......
|
|
|
|
Post by Jane on Sept 16, 2005 2:05:02 GMT -5
A loser is a window washer on the 44th floor who steps back to admire his work.
|
|
|
|
Post by Jane on Oct 31, 2005 3:46:49 GMT -5
On Halloween night the is a ring of the bell, and the call of "Trick or Treat". When the man opens the door he is face to face with a young boy, with yellow sponges stuck on his clothes. The man asks "Surely this is a joke, that's not really a costume, is it?". To which the boy replies "It sure is a costume. It's my best costume yet, in fact this is my greatest idea ever". "Well, what are you then?" askes the man.
"I'm self-absorbed".
|
|
|
|
Post by Jane on Nov 6, 2005 16:36:51 GMT -5
A vampire bat returns to the cave after a night of feasting completely covered in blood. The other bats start crowding around, begging him to tell them where he got so much blood. After a while the bat finally gives in and asks everyone to follow him. And so the few hundred follow him out of the cave, over the valley, past the town, and into the forest. Suddenly the little bat stops. Everyone gathers around, searching for the source of blood. The little bat clears his throat and asks "Do you see that tree over there?". "Yes, yes we see the tree" replied the others.
"Good, cause I didn't".
|
|
|
|
Post by Jane on Nov 16, 2005 1:55:13 GMT -5
|
|
|
|
Post by Jane on Mar 25, 2006 1:04:30 GMT -5
|
|
|
|
Post by Random Prince on Apr 23, 2006 4:13:35 GMT -5
That cat video is hilarious!
|
|
|
|
Post by Jane on Jun 19, 2006 2:15:52 GMT -5
Hello, and welcome to the psychiatric hot line:
- If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.
- If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.
- If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
- If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace the call.
- If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
- If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer.
|
|
|
|
Post by Jane on Aug 23, 2006 3:52:59 GMT -5
A hungry lion was roaming through the jungle looking for something to eat. He came across two men. One was sitting under a tree reading a book; the other was typing away on his typewriter. The lion quickly pounced on the man reading the book and devoured him. Even the king of the jungle knows that readers digest and writers cramp.
|
|
|
|
Post by Jane on Sept 27, 2006 2:31:51 GMT -5
Some possible computer bumper stickers
1. BREAKFAST.COM Halted...Cereal Port Not Responding
2. <-------- The information went data way
3. The name is Baud...James Baud.
4. BUFFERS=20 FILES=15 2nd down, 4th quarter, 5 yards to go!
5. Access denied--nah nah na nah nah!
6. C:V> Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner.
7. Southern DOS: Y'all reckon? (Yep/Nope)
8. Backups? We don' *NEED* no steenking backups.
9. E Pluribus Modem
10. .... File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)
11. Ethernet (n): something used to catch the etherbunny
12. CONGRESS.SYS Corrupted: Re-boot Washington D.C (Y/N)?
13. 11th commandment - Covet not thy neighbor's Pentium.
14. Windows: Just another pane in the glass.
15. SENILE.COM found . . . Out Of Memory . . .
16. RAM disk is *not* an installation procedure.
17. Smash forehead on keyboard to continue...
18. COFFEE.EXE Missing - Insert Cup and Press Any Key
19. ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI!
20. E-mail returned to sender -- insufficient voltage.
21. Error: Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue.
22. "640K ought to be enough for anybody." - Bill Gates, 1981
23. Press any key... no, no, no, NOT THAT ONE!
24. Press any key to continue or any other key to quit...
25. REALITY.SYS corrupted: Reboot universe? (Y/N/Q)
26. Error reading FAT record: Try the SKINNY one? (Y/N)
27. Hit any user to continue.
28. Disk Full - Press F1 to belch.
29. Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (P)anic
30. (A)bort, (R)etry, (G)et a beer?
|
|
|
|
Post by kimmykins83 on Sept 27, 2006 5:44:52 GMT -5
|
|
|
|
Post by Jane on Sept 28, 2006 5:30:43 GMT -5
That's hilarious! I gotta show my mom!
|
|
|
|
Post by kimmykins83 on Sept 28, 2006 5:40:49 GMT -5
|
|
|
|
Post by Jane on Sept 29, 2006 3:51:49 GMT -5
|
|
|
|
Post by kimmykins83 on Sept 29, 2006 9:52:05 GMT -5
|
|
|
|
Post by Jane on Sept 29, 2006 16:15:26 GMT -5
|
|
|
|
Post by kimmykins83 on Sept 30, 2006 13:42:51 GMT -5
|
|
|
|
Post by Jane on Oct 2, 2006 2:13:18 GMT -5
LMAO!!!! That's hilarious! I gotta show everyone that! Time for Kitty Kung-Fu  |
|
|
|
Post by kimmykins83 on Oct 2, 2006 3:28:55 GMT -5
Lol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ;D  I don't know whether to laugh or be sick really, lol! ;D |
|
